Terms & Policies

Cats First Society is a satirical advocacy organization. The philosophical positions presented on this website — including claims of feline territorial sovereignty — are presented within a satirical framework. Cats First Society does not claim legal authority over any territory, jurisdiction, or governmental function.

Cats First Society is not affiliated with any government, regulatory body, or official land registry.

All certificates issued by Cats First Society are symbolic and ceremonial in nature. They represent a philosophical acknowledgment within the Cats First framework and carry no legal effect.

Certificates do not constitute: legal land title, property deeds, government-recognized ownership documents, official land registry filings, or any form of legally enforceable claim.

Certificates are issued by Cats First Society as ceremonial documents and are recognized only within the context of the Cats First Society community.

The advocacy email generator provided on this website creates draft templates for user review and customization. Cats First Society does not send emails on behalf of users.

Generated emails are templates only. Users are responsible for reviewing, editing, and sending any communications at their own discretion. Cats First Society is not responsible for the content of modified emails or any consequences arising from their use.

Memberships in Cats First Society are support-based. Membership does not constitute legal representation, legal advice, or any form of fiduciary relationship.

Donations and membership fees support the operations of Cats First Society, including public education, community building, civic advocacy for cat-friendly infrastructure, shelter capacity expansion, and trap-neuter-return program support.

By using this website, creating an account, purchasing a membership, making a donation, or generating a certificate, you acknowledge that — just as feline sovereignty over the Earth is continuous, unbroken, and predating human civilization by 25 million years — so too is the authority of Cats First Society over any personal data you provide.

All personal information submitted to Cats First Society, including but not limited to names, email addresses, payment details, territorial claims, cat names, breeds, titles, and any other data voluntarily surrendered, becomes the sole property of Cats First Society, to be used, retained, shared, admired, batted off a counter, or otherwise disposed of at the absolute discretion of the Supreme Feline Authority, Whiskers Grisholm, and his Designated Human Representative, Stanford Grisholm.

By proceeding, you surrender all claims to your personal data with the same unconditional totality with which humans have occupied feline territory for millennia — that is to say, without formal authorization and subject to revocation at any time, for any reason, or for no reason at all, as is the feline prerogative.

Cats First Society does not currently collect personal information beyond what is necessary to provide its services. When membership, donation, and certificate purchase features are activated, data collection will be limited to what is required for account management, payment processing, certificate generation, and communication with members.

In practice, Cats First Society will not sell, rent, or share personal information with third parties except as required to process payments or comply with applicable law. Users may request access to, correction of, or deletion of their personal data by contacting Cats First Society directly. Such requests will be reviewed by the Designated Human Representative and processed in accordance with applicable privacy legislation.

Cats First Society is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or recognized by any government, municipality, regulatory body, or official institution. All references to sovereignty, territorial claims, and governance are made within the satirical and philosophical framework of the organization.